Sure, you and your family have done months, and sometimes years, of research to come to your decision. You have attended numerous open houses, been on several school visits and campus tours, feel like you have visited the website of every school ever built, and talked to countless students, parents, teachers and administrators; but now August is winding down and the reality of everything is setting in. Then, one of our worst enemies starts to pay you a visit … Captain Self-Doubt. “Did I make the right decision?” “Who am I going to sit with at lunch?” “I’m never going to be able to find my classes!” “My locker is going to jam!”

 

A nasty little sucker, that Captain Self-Doubt. What people don’t realize is that the nagging, nay-sayer is a chump, a total push-over. This one’s a sheep in wolf’s clothing, the world’s biggest free-loader, because the Captain doesn’t do anything and can only get power from you. So when it comes to starting at a new school, I’m going to give you ten tips on how to take Captain Self-Doubt’s power away and make a nice smooth transition as you begin this exciting, new adventure!

 

Everything is going to be OK. In the history of education, hundreds, upon thousands, upon millions of kids have started at a new school; I have done the research and have yet to find any documentation of a school actually swallowing a kid up and spitting him/her out. So, breathe. Many have done this before you and many will do this after you. Everyone is in your corner - your parents, your teachers, your friends; we all want you to succeed and we’re here to help you do just that. Remember, you can do this. There may be times early on where you need to stop in the hall, close your eyes, and take a deep breath. Go ahead and do it! You’ll be surprised how well it works.

 

There is a reason you chose your school. I said it earlier, you have done your research. You didn’t just wake up one morning and pick a name out of a hat. A lot of time and effort went into your decision. Don’t forget all of the work you did to prepare for this just because Captain Self-Doubt showed up or you hit a bump in the road. Trust yourself, have confidence in your decision, and don’t be so quick to throw in the towel. The transition process into a new school doesn’t happen overnight, which leads us to tip #3.

 

When I mentioned before about there being a reason you chose your school, I was wrong; there are probably many reasons why you made your choice. However, all of these reasons probably aren’t going to magically come falling from the sky on the first day, or even the first week of school and land in your lap. (If this does happen to you, please have your parents buy you a few lottery tickets right away, because you are the luckiest person in the world!) With time, good things will come to you. Rome was not built in a day, nor will your middle school/high school legacy, but with patience, it will be built with great reward.

Leave the end of game magic to the Tom Bradys, Serena Williamses, and the LeBron Jameses of the world. Come out of the gate strong and set the tone for the entire school year. At Aquinas, our students have summer assignments, which should be some of the easiest you will have here. Why? Well, for starters how often are you going to have 2+ months to do an assignment? Throughout the school year you are often only going to have a day to complete assignments. So the extended time you have for summer assignments should seem like a walk in the park. Do them early and do them well, so your first grade is a good one and sets up you for success. Not only does this feel great, but you are also making a great first impression with your teacher that you are serious about being in his or her classroom. Hopefully this will get you off on the right foot to keep it up and continue that effort throughout the school year. Remember, you are going to school for academics first and foremost. If you have success in that area, hopefully you will find that success trickles into all of the other aspects of your life.

 

Yep, I said it! It is no secret of the importance of a good night’s sleep, so this is something you should do throughout the school year. This tip pertains to the first couple of days of school, especially: go to bed even earlier than you normally do. You are going to be excited, anxious, and nervous, along with probably hundreds of other emotions, so falling asleep will be hard. This September will be my 43^rd first day of school (Ouch! Typing that really made me feel old!), yet I still get excited for that first day and every year I have a hard time falling asleep the night before. This one goes along with the strong start. You want to arrive on time and be fresh for this new beginning. You don’t want to be that guy or girl with his or her head down on the desk, do you? What message is that sending to your teacher? (I have promised myself only one soapbox moment and I am saving it for later, so I will simply say that studies show students who put their heads down and sleep in class have a greater chance of serving jail time later on in life. Seriously. Look it up. :))

 

This one can have immediate and long-term rewards in so many ways. First off, joining a club, a performing group, or a sports teams will open up doors to meeting new people, and, more importantly, people with similar interests to you, which is the foundation for solid friendships. When I moved to a new school for 7^th grade, one of my first friends was made when we played modified basketball together. The result? He was the best man in my wedding and is still my best friend over 35 years later. My first friend in kindergarten was also a groomsman in my wedding, but I’m not sure if snack time together counts as an activity or sport.

Your new friends will help you through a bad day and make you laugh when you need a good one. Also, being involved with a club or activity will give you a smaller sense of community that will eventually grow into a larger sense of community within the entire school.

 

You’re probably asking, “What good is an anchor going to do me on dry land?” The answer … a lot! By anchor, I mean that person who is a calming force for you. That person who, when you see them, makes you feel just a little bit better and more at ease. I guarantee you that they can be found throughout your new school. Maybe it’s that first person you met at orientation who looked just as scared as you did, yet you both helped each other make it through the day. Maybe it’s the student who gave you your tour of the school way back in October at Open House. (Don’t roll your eyes at this one, because I often have my student ambassadors comment to me about kids who they have taken around and then enrolled in Aquinas. They take great pride in that and would definitely be receptive to being your “anchor.”) Also, your anchor doesn’t need to be a student. Maybe it is Lunch Lady Lisa who gave you that reassuring smile that petrifying first day in lunch. Maybe it’s your goofy Spanish teacher who made you laugh two minutes into your first class with his silly voices and accents.

Find that person. Work them into your routine throughout the day, even if it is just a quick pass and hello in the hallway. If you are comfortable enough, let that person know how much of a help they are to you with your transition to your new school. My guess is that they will be flattered and honored and you will find them seeking you out during the day, too!

 

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my aforementioned soapbox moment! I feel very strongly about this in terms of the world would be a better place if we all did this. I sincerely believe this. Try it, it’s so simple, yet so powerful. I know I could be better at this, but I do try it often and it always brings either a smile to my face or warms my heart a little bit. (Quick sidebar, I have always said if I ever write a self-help book, the title will be What if We All Just Said “Hi” to Each Other. OK, now back to our regularly scheduled program.) Overall, the general principle here is to be nicer to people and look out for each other. This is something that I am fortunate to see often at a Catholic school such as Aquinas.

So why not try this in your new school? Smile and say “Good morning,” to a total stranger from another grade level. Say hello to a group of kids at lunch and ask if you can sit with them. What’s the worst thing that can happen? They say “no,” right? However, in my experience, I have yet to come across that kid who says, “You know, I’ve reached my friend quota for the year. I just really can’t find a place for another nice person in my life.” Sometimes you just have to throw yourself out there and you’ll probably be pleasantly surprised at the results. So before you get out there and make the world a better place, get your practice in and make your school a better place. (I thank you for your effort and am now stepping down from my soapbox.)

 

This tip might be the hardest one. The few, the proud, and the fortunate will have zero struggles when making the move to a new school. Chances are you are going to hit some bumps in the road. Though these bumps may seem like mountains now, you will eventually look back on them and realize you did an excellent job in navigating them. You are going to have a lot of new firsts in your life that will come with their own set of bumps and struggles: college, your first job, owning a house for the first time, marriage. This new school thing is a good test run for you, because don’t forget that the struggle makes us stronger: http://instructor.mstc.edu/instructor/swallerm/struggle%20-%20butterfly.htm

 

For me, this one usually takes place when I am brushing my teeth in the morning (though when I first started at AQ, I could also say it was when I was combing my hair.) How are you navigating your way through your new school? Are you giving your best effort with this transition? Have you tried the previous nine tips? I said this earlier, you and your family put a lot of time and effort into your decision for your new school. Sure, quitting is easy, but now you are just feeding into Captain Self-Doubt.

Recently a good friend of mine’s son enrolled at Aquinas. He left after only one year and as I look through my tips, I’d say he did maybe one of them, possibly two at the most. I told him I didn’t think he ever really gave the transition a fair shot and he agreed. Leaving was the easy way out and I firmly believe this young man is always going to wonder in the back of his mind what could’ve been if he had put in just a little more effort.

I understand everyone needs to find the right school for him or her, and transitioning to a new school might be one of the hardest things many of you will have encountered in your lives thus far. However, you have to give it a fair shake and only that person looking back at you while you brush your teeth will know if you did or not.

 

Going to a new school is a big deal and a huge accomplishment. You and your family should celebrate it! Have your 2^nd favorite meal or go to your 2^nd favorite restaurant that evening after your first day (everyone knows your 1^st favorite is always saved for your birthday and even I can’t supersede a birthday!) Oh yeah, and of course, have some ice cream, too! Starting a new school is very, very ice cream-worthy.

 

If all else fails and you feel like none of these tips are working, I guarantee the very first one will still be there. Close your eyes for a second, take a deep breath, and push Captain Self-Doubt out of your way. You’ve got this; you can do it!